However- it's so easy to just focus on the good stuff in my life. I mean, who wants to air all their dirty laundry on their blog (literally!) ? Who wants to highlight the crappy things- the way they fail others, the ugly side of things? Why in the world would I let you know the real me- the imaginary me on the internet, where I can choose what I want you to see, is so much prettier!
Because of some very sweet and complimentary comments, I wanted to clear up any misconceptions people might have about me (if they only read my blog and don't know me in real life. I assume that my faults are very much more apparent in real life than what I choose to reveal here!).
I don't have it all together. Shocker, hmm? ;)
If someone appears like they do have it all together, rest assured, something is suffering for it in their life.
So in the spirit of authenticity, here is my "airing of grievances" (against myself!):
I'm really bad about keeping in touch with friends and pursuing relationships. I'm rather hit and miss with it. It's nothing to do with the person, but I know that I end up probably hurting people's feelings because of my scatterbrained lack of communication for long periods of time. And I feel really guilty about it, a lot of times.
If you notice when I post pictures, I rarely post them if they are in my kitchen or kids' rooms. :) There is good reason for that. Trust me. hehe
I don't sleep a lot at night... I'm a night owl, and I covet my time by myself, to the sacrifice of sleep. That means I'm kind of crabby when I wake up in the morning.
Exercise rarely, if ever, happens for me. This is my own choosing- I don't play victim on any of these... everyone has choices they make for what they deem the most important thing. Sometimes it's a deeper issue and you have to kind of dig to figure out why you are choosing to do something, and sometimes it's simple like this one: I'm lazy and I don't like to sweat. That's the ugly truth.
The laundry.Oh, the laundry.
(And you can ask the Hubs, it's unfortunately like this a lot of the time.)
There's more I could share... I have a wealth of failures and faults I could share- as does everyone. Trust me, what I've shared here isn't the worst of it, by far... but also, there's only so much I want to put out there on the WWW. (My family does read this. And Child Protection Services. Just kiddin'.) ;) hehehe
(Great, now I'm paranoid about that CPS comment. I hope they don't monitor things like that!)
Here's the thing I'm starting to understand about myself: I'm figuring out what it is I believe.
When I focus on the strengths I have, or my failures- it means I believe that I can control these things.
When I talk about someone behind their back, or compare myself to someone else, and feel that twinge of self-righteousness, it means I believe I'm better then them.
I'm a visual thinker, and for so long I've pictured myself as a strong woman, floundering in the ocean, occasionally catching a gasp of air when I get things under my control, occasionally dog paddling when I have "it all together."
You know what, though? I am weak. I deceive myself. I'm not floundering at all.
I'm sunk. At the bottom of the ocean, utterly without the ability to pull myself up and swim with full strength to the shore.
The only One that can do that is Jesus, and this time of year, I seem to be reminded of that even more.
He, the Creator of everything you see around, big and small, put Himself in a little human baby body, and come to earth, to bring us light in the darkness.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born
So I'm coming to realize... I believe in grace.
What would I do without precious grace.... God's aggressive forgiveness, inviting me to life.
(Supplies: Noel Mignon's Cornucopia kit and Making Memories alphabet letters. Done for the new "Believe" challenge at Noel Mignon. Join in here: Noel Mignon Challenge)
i so wish i could know you better V - you seem like my type of gal! thanks for sharing all of that!ReplyDelete
God's grace is truly an amazing thing and so hard to comprehend at times!
merry christmas to you and your family!!
Thank you for sharing a piece of you with us.I admire you for speaking the truth. I to have experienced Gods Grace and Mercy. I truly do not know how I would survive without it. Thank you for being a friend and beautifully graceful woman. You are truly someone I admire. :) Forgive me if I am to mushy but I just wanted you to know. I pray that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.ReplyDelete
i appreciate all that you shared, and your honesty most of all. while reading your post, i realized i too am selfish with my alone time, and i crave it usually mid week. and i've also woken up cranky as a result of being a night owl. i might be working on that, or might not.
have a wonderful rest of your day!
beautifully said. honest. clear. and oh so true about grace! love the LO too girly! ;)ReplyDelete
What an awesome post! It's good to remember that we aren't perfect and can never be perfect but God gives us the gift of life and we should do the best we can with it - including serving Him. Thanks for that reminder!ReplyDelete
LOL About the CPS comment, I've left things off my blog for that same reason. =)
Well said. It is so amazing that grace is HIM pursuing US. Not the other way. My sinful heart would never choose Him. Praise God for grace! :)ReplyDelete
Thanks for sharing this other side of you, V. I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in the 'uglier' side of life, the side we so often choose to hide from our friends, but deep down, we know we can't hide from Him. Thank you for the reminder that we are constantly in need of Him. :)ReplyDelete
Your honesty is very admirable..this was a wonderfully written post
And I still love you, imperfections and all! :-)
Hope your holidays are going well!
Well crap...I can't be friends with you anymore. ;)ReplyDelete
<3 u Virge!
oh virginia i love thisReplyDelete
thank you so much for sharing
i have a really great friend who is very real on her blog about what is going on with her. she is great with words and putting down how she feels and how things are going and i feel like you do that alot of time my blog looks like all is well with me when that isn't always the case. you said it perfectly and thank you for this.
have a merry Christmas and don't worry about the laundry it will get done at some point. :)
Awesome post Virge.ReplyDelete
But I am so SHOCKED. You don't have it all together? Because you KNOW i totally do : )
Love you my friend!!!!
I'm so happy I'm not the only one! This makes me like you even more! Thanks for sharing and happy holidays!ReplyDelete
Well I think you are a pretty amazing person. I am in awe of all that you do, how crafty you are, how much you give of yourself, AND take care of kiddos....you rank pretty high up there in my book. :)ReplyDelete
Hope you have a very very Merry Christmas. :)
V, I thought I was the only one that has a hard time keeping up relationships/friendships. I'm aweful at it. I always am thinking of them, but just never get around to calling or writing.Uggh!ReplyDelete
This really is a great post.
Love it! Keep it real girl.ReplyDelete
His grace blows my mind away for sure!!! Don't forget to give yourself a little grace to because I think you are great! ;)ReplyDelete