4.14.2013

The need to be quiet.

As you may (or most likely have not) noticed, my blogging has taken a severe turn to the not so much.

I have gone through seasons of writing and seasons of insecurity and seasons of privacy on what to include on this blog. Sometimes I think I just need to limit it to my creative ventures but then I realize I'm not really that compartmentalized of a person. My life is blurry between all the lines and I just can't section off a part of me to share without including other stuff.

So then I just get quiet.

I'm reading a fantastic book that I actually purchased for my hubs a birthday or two ago. It's called Introverts in the Church and is exactly what it claims to be about. I cannot recommend it enough. If you feel at all like you may tend towards being an introvert, then get it and read it.

My husband and I are both introverts. He's the more extreme of the two of us (hence one of the reasons why you don't see him often in pictures), and people are often surprised when I say that I am an introvert. But I am. I just am also a major people pleaser so it doesn't complement my introvert side very well.

I'm realizing, through reading this book, how much I deny myself of the things that I really need. Quiet. Time to reflect. Stillness. Contrasted against what is seen as worthwhile and productive in this world, it seems self indulgent at best, and lazy most of the time.

I'm having to learn to embrace myself as I have been created. Even if it means disappointing others by saying "No" to playdates, and Girls' Night Outs and a multitude of other things. And not so I can have a glorified sense of self... but so I can stop and notice and pay attention to how God is quietly weaving Himself in my life.

So it brings me back to my blog. Even when  my kids were littler, I still had moments of quiet in my life, perhaps more than now. I had naptimes and earlier bedtimes. They played but mostly didn't chatter away to me. Now all four clamor for my attention and talk and oh my goodness, I have at least one little extrovert. In the "old days," (aka like one or two years ago!) I could still gather my thoughts here and there and sort through the moments of the day. Now there is less time to sift and sort and my filter gets clogged. And then I can't write or blog because I haven't had time to sift and sort.

I am purposing to change this. I'm intentional about spending more times of quiet. It means it digs into time that was spent doing other things... so if you, my friends, notice that I'm not at as many things or pulling back, it is not because I don't love you dearly. It's because I can't be a good friend, or wife, or mama, or me, without times to stop to reflect on Who made me.





8 comments:

  1. I think it's wonderful that you have realised more of who you are, and what you need AND that you are taking steps to do that even when it goes against the flow of the world. We are in the world, but we not of this world, are we?
    And there are seasons of life too - we can't do it all, all of the time.
    Blessings to you ... and we'll appreciate it when you can share with us.

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words! :)

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  2. Introverts in the Church is such a good book. Quiet is also another good one about introverts. More of the science behind it all I guess. I'm the same way. I've been incredibly quiet on my blog lately. Just too much else going on in life with my mother's illness and transplant, my sister's pregnancy, having a 13 year old and commuting 35 minutes one way to school, and God calling me to other things. As you said, there isn't the time to sort it all so the blogging takes a back seat. And that's okay. It's how God made us. As far as having an extroverted child? Completely understand. My husband and I are both introverts and our son is the biggest extrovert. Oh dear sometimes it's all I can handle.

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    1. I'll have to check out "Quiet." I haven't heard of that one! I understand about being busy with other stuff. It's finding that balance, isn't it? Good to know I'm not the only one that struggles with an extrovert child being an introvert mom! I wonder what it will be like in the teen years for us!

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  3. i'll have to check that book out. Thanks for the recommendation.

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  4. While I am the polar opposite of an introvert, I also have long periods of "quiet" on my blog which leave me feeling guilty. However, I believe you have come to realize the best part about blogging. Your blog is exactly that...your's! Focus on what is important to you. Blogs and blogging friends understand.

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    1. Aw Lisa! You are a sweetie! And like you said- don't ever feel guilty for being quiet! :)

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I'm so glad you decided to leave me a comment today! Thanks for taking the time to stop by my little corner of the world. :)

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