A new day

Thank you, sweet friends, for your words of comfort below.

I hold stuff close to my heart and it is very hard for me to let others to see me in a weak moment, struggling, not knowing all the answers.

I think that God is teaching me how to not be like that. So He keeps gently peeling back my layers in various situations where I cannot hide things.

Many times, other people may see me struggle, but I am there to be the shoulder to cry on, to be the one that they can trust will always be there. If I fall apart, then what happens? The world spins off its axis?

I had a bit of a fall-apart this morning.

I prepared my lesson for this morning for my youth girls earlier this week, planning on reading them this blog post. I knew when I was planning it, that this Easter morning would be emotional, but at the time, I had no idea how emotional it would be.

My girls didn't know about what had been going on for me this weekend, but as I read it, and got towards the end, I could barely get out the words, for the tears that were falling. They are used to me being a bit weepy, but not this torrential downpour.

I showed my weakness to my youth girls this morning. Me, the teacher. The one that is supposed to be strong and able to confidently answer things.

Today I had to be humbled, confused, and definitely not strong, definitely not knowing all the answers, only able to have faith that God's ways are not our ways.

They loved me anyways.

Today, I am glad that He chooses the weak. The foolish. The nonsensical ones.

It is Easter.

Easter is grace and overwhelming love poured out on us, in the midst of our sorrow and brokeness and darkness and unbelief.

I love the words to this song:

I would but cannot rest,

In God’s most holy will;

I know what He appoints is best,

And murmur at it still.

I murmur at it still.

Help my unbelief.

Help my unbelief.

Help my unbelief.

My help must come from Thee.